Faith, Parenting, Struggling

How My Mom F-A-I-L Moment Has Been A Wake-Up Call  

I think when I first became a stay-at-home mom, I believed that I would get so much done with each and every day:  The beds would be made and the house would be clean, there’d be crafts with the kids, and I’d have everyone on an organized schedule.

That was when my daughter was two.

Fast forward nearly three years and another child later, and I can safely say that we are SO far from that goal.  On a typical day, I am able to write off the craziness and chaos by telling myself that all the other moms are no better organized and orderly than I.

Last night, that bubble of mine totally burst, 
leaving me to realize that I seriously need some help!  

On Wednesdays, my family and I go to varying groups at our church.  Each child is in a different classroom, and my husband and I go to ours as well.  As it goes with classes, there is homework, and while I was never able to complete the entire thing each week with my daughter, we always read through the exercises and had the memory verse completed.  I really thought this was enough and actually felt pretty good about it.  There’s just no more space to pack anything else into our days, and I was happy to feel I’d done my best…besides, there’s no way other parents were getting all of this homework done…at least not everyone…right?

Wrong…so so wrong.

Turns out, my girl was the only one in her entire class to not have all of the items checked off in her book, which also meant that she was the only one to not have earned all of her badges.  While her teacher explained to me that this was the reason she had had a melt down in class, my heart just dropped.  I felt completely horrible for having let my daughter down, and I was just plain embarrassed.

Seriously, talk about feeling like I’d just committed a major parenting F-A-I-L!  

As we drove home that night, I couldn’t help but think, “Where am I suppose to put this all?” and “How on earth am I seriously the only one to have not had this completed with my daughter?!”  I felt incredulous and truly like I was failing at this whole mom thing.

I think the long and short of it is that I just need to get organized.  I feel like the walls in this house are literally coming down around me with the dirty dishes and the clutter and the mess and our flying out of the house and arriving at the last minute all the time.  I seriously need to get off of this cycle and start a new one.

Remember that Crystal Paine book I was talking about?  Yeah, still the first chapter; but I picked it up again today.  I didn’t make it very far, but she has me writing down everything I already do in a day right as I’m doing it.  I thought it would show me all of my time-wasting moments, but so far, what I’m seeing is more of a chaotic pattern.  While I may go into the kitchen to start the dishes, I’ll notice something on the table that needs to go into the other room and redirect to there, and so on.  There’s no rhyme or reason.  No order or structure, and while part of me likes that, it’s also not working.

My husband thinks I should buy a giant white board so I can get everything down in one place.  I think I will.

This is going to take a while.  Last night was a wake-up call for me.  I’m sure it was imagined, but I could just feel that teacher wondering how I could let something so important fall by the wayside.  Really, that’s just not true.  We aren’t like that in our home.  We are constantly discussing the topic of God and Jesus Christ with our kids, but the sting was there and I’ve awoken to the fact that I need help…some serious organizational and cleaning help.

 
I just have not figured out how to balance 
time with kids and time on the house, 
and clearly both are feeling the repercussions of that.

What is the main thing that you do to keep your house and family organized and running smoothly?

I’m sure hoping this book will shed some light for me, because even though I so badly want to cut from my previous mold, this is all so much harder than it looked from the outside!

One thing I am certain of, however, is that whether I figure this whole thing out or not, my God loves me.  He sees my heart and knows my intentions.

We are all works in progress…sometimes I forget about that.

God did bring a verse to my heart though.  I love the entire passage, but in particular, I can feel that He wants me to focus right here for a while until I can also say it for myself:


“…I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances…”
Philippians 4:11
 
May you also learn contentment, no matter where in your life you may find yourself.  Give yourself grace and a large portion of mercy, and remember, we are all works in progress for Him, and He will continue His good work in you straight on through to completion (Philippians 1:6, paraphrase mine).

Kay Kathleen

I write about my life's core: Jesus & my faith, my family, and the struggles I have met along the way. I figure...I hope...that if exposing my life and it's lessons learned can encourage even one person, this blog and all the hours I have spent behind this computer will have been more than worth it.

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